Wednesday, March 19, 2003
Sooo let's see, it's been a few BUSY days! Deven has been wonderful yet a handful off the meds. Man I forgot just how much energy the boy can expend! *L* We have all been pretty much out cold by 9sih this week!!
E was a real monster again on Saturday - must be a weekend thing but I have made some decisions about my life and I can honestly and definately say that I don't see our marriage lasting longer then this summer. I just can't take the verbal abuse any more and he's edging towards directing it to the boys and I will NOT have that. And just how many times can a person listen to "I hate you, I can leave when ever I want, I don't want to be here", etc before they point to the door and say "SEE YA!" I am reaching my limits and QUICKLY!! And the apologetic groveling the next day just isn't cutting it anymore either -- It's great you (he) recognize(s) you (he) can't/shouldn't drink anymore but I am not gonna listen to it every morning merely to have you start up again that night!!! *sigh*
But anywho - Deven's EEG was normal (thank god, although it was bittersweet as knowing something was wrong would have been a bit of a relief) but we still aren't back on meds, I have to call the psychiatrist today at noon to discuss meds. The teacher commented yesterday that Dev was all over room, unfocused, talking to self (imaginative play), etc...
We saw the pyschologist yesterday and he commented I seemed to have a pretty good handle on everything (my marriage, the alcoholism, Dev's ADHD, etc) and what did I want him to do? ARRGGGGG Pardon me?? Somehow I don't think that's the question I wanted him to ask - what more could I tell him other then to help Dev w/dealing w/ and expressing his frustrations, emotions, etc. Ummmm I just told you my whole life story and it's OBVIOUS to ME that Dev needs counseling of some sort but I am not a profession so why are you asking ME what I want YOU to do??? Anyone have any thoughts there???
Work is ok.. got my rating to sign today - got an exception but what could I get since the night people were I put in most of my hours absolutely LOVE me... of course in the "counseling/discussion of performance" paperwork that we do twice a yr I wasn't overly impressed with supervisor's comments about discussing "timely calling in/absense" issues - umm excuse me but I can't help it I have a life and DON"T have a nanny living with me or coming everyday like SOME people!!! And she just HAD to comment on the actual rating "When she's here" cause you know I am only here 6 days a month and that really burns her ass! Anyway....
I guess the one big highlight of the past 4-5 days is that I made the paper yesterday!! Press Article SOOO autograph anyone???? Well it's back to the grind stone here in the office.. I'll update again very, very soon!!! Til next time...
E was a real monster again on Saturday - must be a weekend thing but I have made some decisions about my life and I can honestly and definately say that I don't see our marriage lasting longer then this summer. I just can't take the verbal abuse any more and he's edging towards directing it to the boys and I will NOT have that. And just how many times can a person listen to "I hate you, I can leave when ever I want, I don't want to be here", etc before they point to the door and say "SEE YA!" I am reaching my limits and QUICKLY!! And the apologetic groveling the next day just isn't cutting it anymore either -- It's great you (he) recognize(s) you (he) can't/shouldn't drink anymore but I am not gonna listen to it every morning merely to have you start up again that night!!! *sigh*
But anywho - Deven's EEG was normal (thank god, although it was bittersweet as knowing something was wrong would have been a bit of a relief) but we still aren't back on meds, I have to call the psychiatrist today at noon to discuss meds. The teacher commented yesterday that Dev was all over room, unfocused, talking to self (imaginative play), etc...
We saw the pyschologist yesterday and he commented I seemed to have a pretty good handle on everything (my marriage, the alcoholism, Dev's ADHD, etc) and what did I want him to do? ARRGGGGG Pardon me?? Somehow I don't think that's the question I wanted him to ask - what more could I tell him other then to help Dev w/dealing w/ and expressing his frustrations, emotions, etc. Ummmm I just told you my whole life story and it's OBVIOUS to ME that Dev needs counseling of some sort but I am not a profession so why are you asking ME what I want YOU to do??? Anyone have any thoughts there???
Work is ok.. got my rating to sign today - got an exception but what could I get since the night people were I put in most of my hours absolutely LOVE me... of course in the "counseling/discussion of performance" paperwork that we do twice a yr I wasn't overly impressed with supervisor's comments about discussing "timely calling in/absense" issues - umm excuse me but I can't help it I have a life and DON"T have a nanny living with me or coming everyday like SOME people!!! And she just HAD to comment on the actual rating "When she's here" cause you know I am only here 6 days a month and that really burns her ass! Anyway....
I guess the one big highlight of the past 4-5 days is that I made the paper yesterday!! Press Article SOOO autograph anyone???? Well it's back to the grind stone here in the office.. I'll update again very, very soon!!! Til next time...
